ASelf-Reflection Paper on Attachment Style
ASelf-Reflection Paper on Attachment Style
People’sability to interact and socialize with others is largely determinedby the strength of the relationship that they had with their parentsas they grew up, starting from childhood. I consider myself to beamong the people who have managed to develop secure attachments thatincrease the ability to establish strong and positive relationshipswith others. A secure style of attachment starts developing at aroundsix months of age when the infant begins to form emotional bonds withcaregivers or parents. Infants develop a positive attachment whenthey feel secure, seen, and soothed by their parents. In this paper Iwill reflect on my attachment style and relationship with others aswell as with God.
PersonalAttachment, its Origin, and Relationship with Others
Iattribute the origin of my secure attachment style to the interactionI had with my mother during childhood. I have always felt secure inmy mother’s hands, and I consider her as my protector and provider.She fed me when I was a kid, in spite of her busy work schedules.Although she had employed a nanny to take care of me, she alwaysspared some time to feed and play with me. The little time she spentwith me was sufficient to assure me that she was available and readyto take care of my needs.
Thefruitful interaction I enjoyed with my mother helped me develop a setof beliefs that guide me in any relationship to-date. For example, Istrongly believe that relationships are based on trust. My mothertrusted that the values that she imparted in me could not lead meastray. For example, she has never asked me, “are you sure”,which is a sign of trust in my ability to tell the truth. Her believein my behavior helped me develop trust in others and engage in secureattachments with my colleagues.
Althoughthe idea of feeling secure was one-way during childhood, it helped medevelop the notion that I should act as a protector of the peoplethat I love and interact with in my life. I relied on the protectionof my parent during childhood, but I am currently able to protect mycolleagues when attacked verbally or physically. I believe that it ismy duty to ensure that my friends are secure.
Moreover,the ability to connect, trust, and feel secure in the hands of othershave helped me develop attachments that are mutually beneficial. Forexample, I am able to sympathize and offer support to my colleagueswhenever they are in trouble, instead of being sadistic. I am alsoable to go for comfort from my friends whenever I am in need.
Similarto the development of my attachment to other people, I learned aboutthe significance of establishing a strong relationship with God frommy parents. They took me to church and encouraged me to attend theSunday school at a time when I felt that it was a waste of time. Iwas quite playful and preferred entertainment events to Sundayschool. However, my considerate mother taught me about God bit bybit. At the age of about four years, my mother taught me that God isthe protector of all people. I also learned about the nature of Godas a protector from Deuteronomy 31: 6, which states “Be strong andcourageous. Do not be afraid because of them, for the Lord Your Godgoes with you”. This biblical view strengthened my relationshipwith God.
Inaddition, I have managed to develop a secure relationship with Godafter learning how to read and interpret the Bible. For example, myrelationship with God was shaped by the book of Isaiah 66: 13 whereGod states that he will comfort his people just like a mother soothesher children. The verse reminded me about the relationship I had withmy mother, especially during childhood. It helped me see a powerfulprotector of all human beings, including my mother. This enabled mefell feel secure in God.
Inconclusion, the secure attachment that I developed during mychildhood has enabled me to establish strong relationships with Godand other people. I learned to become securely attached, give, andreceive comfort. Moreover, my secure attachment with God has enabledme to learn how to find care for my emotional needs from individualswho are strong and safe. Consequently, I have been able to developstrong relationships with God, my parents, and friends since Iconsider them to be strong, safe, and trustworthy. However, I alsobelieve that I have a responsibility to create an environment thatfacilitates these relationships by ensuring that other parties canalso feel safe when they relate with me.